The Gentle Art of Letting Go
I am reading a great book by Barbara Stanny called The Secrets of Six Figure Women. In it she includes a quote that resonated with me and thought it was the good basis for this blog post.
“If I get stuck in who I am now, I might never blossom into who I might yet become. I need to practice the gentle art of letting go.” (Sam Keen, author)
We all have times where we realise that to move forward with our life/relationship/career/goals etc we need to make a change to the way we are currently thinking or doing things. But change can be challenging. To make change is possibly to endure temporary pain or hardship. But the question I guess we have to ask is “Will the change I make today result in a better outcome in the future?” If the answer is yes, then perhaps its time to consider ‘practicing the gentle art of letting go’.
I often have people contact me who want to make changes to their image and presentation for one reason or another….to further their career aims, to meet a new partner, to redefine their identity after a life changing event such as becoming a mother, divorce, loss of a job or partner… however although these people recognise that the changes they desire will most likely have a positive effect on their confidence, self-esteem, identity, goals, professional outcomes or whatever, they sometimes find it hard to actually take the next step and let go of the present situation. There is something or some part of them that is resisting making a change. The potential pain of change is greater than the potential pleasure they might experience afterwards.
This is not uncommon, in fact it is human nature to want to maintain the status quo…even if it is causing some pain. But what if by gradually letting go, you started to notice small differences to your life? Perhaps you smile when you look in the mirror before you go out because you know that you look good and because you look good, you feel good.
What if people started to comment that there was something different about you, that you seemed happier, more confident, content or empowered? Would that be enough to make you think about making more changes? About gradually moving towards a new sense of self and knowing that you have made the positive things happen by being open to change and letting go of old thoughts/beliefs/behaviours.
When I work with clients in helping them define their personal brand or develop a signature style, I am mindful that this process can be challenging but is also exhilarating. My primary aim is to educate, support and encourage and to respect my client’s personality, lifestyle and goals. To (in the words of Sam Keen above) help them “blossom into who they might yet become.”
Leave a comment below and share your tip for approaching change and letting go.
Click here if you’d like to find out what some of my clients have experienced.
Good one Emma. It is much easier hanging on to what you know than letting go and moving into the unknown even though it could be a better future. After all a person’s comfort zone might not actually be comfortable but at least they know it and know they can handle it (because that’s how they’ve been living until now).
A short talk which I hope is helpful is on my YouTube site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zdnkD6abrY
So true Laurence. Yes while intellectually we often recognise the real need for change, the current situation may not be comfortable but not yet painful enough to provoke action.
Thanks for the video.
Great post Emma.
In the self-talk arena, I tend to get so sick of myself that change is my only option. I am impatient with myself so when something has upset or frustrated me then I’ll have my ‘moment’ of venting and then look for ways to move on.
Some things have hung around longer than others and it’s been a tough journey to actually identify what the ‘real’ blocks were. What’s been brilliant is that when I’ve got to the moment that I can see what ‘it’ is I’m more than ready to move on.
As for client, it’s much easier to be the one with the clarity of distance so that I can facilitate the move out of drama, problem, frustration toward solution.
The value of the external facilitator (stylist, coach, trainer, etc) can not be expressed enough, IMHO
Wonderful comment Sally. Yes, I’m with you. I have definitely had moments where I knew that change was not only necessary but imperative if I were to break through and achieve more than I was currently getting. Sometimes it can be frustrating to feel you are on the brink of better things but feel as though you can’t quite identify the belief/value/behaviour etc that is preventing you from moving forward. I agree, some things are too tough (or perhaps we’re too close to the issue) to work out alone, having external support can make the difference between freedom and staying on the “stuck-ness roundabout”. It may cost a little upfront but the rewards down the track are immeasurable.